Teddy Bear named Jesus! God terribly annoyed!
Patty, a four-year old girl living in Scunthorpe, has named her teddy bear Jesus. It seems like God is outraged. He told our religious affairs correspondent, in that irritating whiny voice he uses when he’s sulking:
“I’m really offended by this. She didn’t check it out with me first or anything.”
Later reports indicate that Patty is to be publicly flogged, and God is said to have expressed satisfaction.
News flash – following the efforts of Christian peers, the Queen has just announced that Patty is to be freed.
“You guys just don’t get it..” muttered God under his breath.
God has a message for everyone. It is about the meaning of First is last and Last is First. It was send in the Spring of 2006. The message is this:
In the morning I go to Heaven. In the afternoon I live my life. In the evening I die, death.
What does this mean. To understand this message know that Birth is Last and Last is Birth. Or Birth, Life, Death, and Birth again.
God doesn’t mind if you name the bear Jesus. But bear in mind the word Jesus is a reserved word. There is only one Jesus and if everyone named their kids, dogs, cats, pets, toys with the name Jesus it kind of loses meaning.
“There is only one Jesus” you are wrong, read: Ecclesiasticus (biblical literature) It was written in Hebrew in Palestine around 180–175 “bc” by Jesus Ben Sira. Jesus isn´t a reserved word. There are people called Jesus in Spain and other counties. I thing is a way to be grateful.
“God has a message for everyone…It was send(sic) in the Spring of 2006..”
What is the evidence for this assertion?
“..Jesus is a reserved word.”
(trying not to smile) Programming languages have reserved words, but natural languages do not.
This is one small piece of Proof:
Like I said earlier, the Holy Spirit talked to me, besides his message about First is Last and Last is First, he had something to say about “Who Killed JFK”. Christ tells me that the man who shot JFK is a policeman. He also tells me the name of the shooter, but it is in a jumbled word. The word is “Fritters”. I see the name F. Ritter right off so I think that is the name of the killer. Now God has lots of other messages for me to figure out, so I put “Who Killed JFK” on the back burner for over a year. A year or more later , just recently, I have more time to look for F. Ritter. I can’t find a policeman with that name who lived in Dallas, Texas in 1963. So I start searching for information about who killed JFK and there is a picture of a policeman by the name of JD Tippit. Now Tippit kind of looks like Ritter. Now I un-jumble the letters of Ritter to TIRRET. Now TIRRET looks more like TIPPIT. Now I make the R’s stand at attention, I get TIPPET. One problem is that the I and the E are not the same. So I do some research on the family name TIPPIT. Turns out that in the late 1800’s JD Tippit’s grandfather changed their name from Tippett to Tippit. So the next step I change the E to I. So Tippet is now Tippit.
Now I have FS Tippit and JD Tippit. The first two initials are not the same. Next I go to Wikipedia there I find that JD does not stand for anything. That means his name is just J D. So the initials F S, do not stand for anything. I just have two initials that do not stand for anything. Are you following me?
Next what does FRITTERS mean. If your following my thinking here, God is going to tell you what happened to JD Tippit after he was shot. Fritters are a dough that is deep fried. Bread also means body, like in the last super Christ takes the bread and says this is my body. Look in the dictionary, PIT means HELL. TIP means money paid, gratuity. There are other meanings to Tip and Pit, you can look them up yourself.
JD Tippits body (dough) is placed in the deep fryer (lake of fire). Now I think this clue (Fritters) was INGENIUS. After all God came up with it. I think he does have a sense of humor too. Kids now have a new game to play. They can play God. Pilsbury dough boy fry’s in the lake of fire. You get HELL! fry baby fry!
If you think this is just crazy. Remember I am just the messenger. Jesus is the one that had to talk about JFK. So he had a reason for doing that. He told me who Killed JFK so that you would believe his messages are from God. Only God knows who killed JFK. I had forgotten about the case years ago. This is a cold case now, it been 45 year since the shooting.
I also read the part about giving false prophesy. God says false prophets go to Hell or something like that. I only repeat what God told me. Now what I wrote above is from God. He told me who killed JFK in 2006. The above is not a lie or a joke and I am going to HEAVEN without fear.
Before I forget. Gods messeges usually have more than one meaning. F S could also stand for “Fence Shooter”.
Who are the co-conspirators? Turns out that there are two policemen named Tippit, and one Tippett working in the Dallas police Department that same year(1963). Back to the clue word Fritters. That is plural, you know about plural. We have two fritters. The co-conspirators name is Gayle M. Tippit.
Now the Dallas Police Department obviously covered up and framed Oswald. He was the Patsy. They did it cause it is very possible that one of the other police officers rushing to the scene saw Tippet fleeing the scene carrying a rifle. They covered it up because of the embarrassment of one of their own was the man that killed JFK? And the Warren commission must have also figured that out so they stuck with the Dallas Dept. story saying that it was Oswald. It could have been a National embarrassment. Now if you look at the evidence like I did. It is easy to see that the DAllas Police Dept tampered with the evidence over and over again. And they did a very bad job of it too.
Now this is my opinion, not Gods. I think God is behind the creation of the Internet. I could never have been able to figure out a lot of his messages without the use of the Internet. People on the Net have been a big help to me. God talks to other people too, they just don’t know it. God let me know it was him.
It is impossible for anyone to do what I do, with Gods help. How is that?
Now I just made solving the case of “Who shot JFK?”, look easy. I also gave you proof here. Did you see it? You ask where’s the proof. The proof is that it is impossible for anyone to repeat what I just did above. I mean try it. And I do that over and over again in all of God’s messages.
See if you can make up a word that is a fried food (like fritters). Unjumble the letters to reveal the name of the killer (Tippit). Then divide the word Tippit into words that describe what happened. Tip- means that JD Tippit was paid for the job and the presidency was over turned. Pit – means that he went to Hell for what he did. Pit means the worst Hell.
See if you can prove me wrong. Show me how easy it is to make up a name like “Fritters” that solves the crime. This clue is ingenious. God came up with the name “FRITTERS”. God is a genius, not me. I am only the messenger.
Then the two remaining letters F. S. stands for Fence Shooter. It ingenius!
Then on top of that it just so happens that there are two Tippit’s working in the Dallas Police Department in 1963. Fritters (plural) means we have more than one Fritter going in the deep fryer . The other shooter is Gayle M. Tippit. He goes to Hell too. Now I did some research on Gayle M Tippit. There is very little information on him unlike JD Tippit. In my search I found two Gayle Tippit’s still in Dallas. One died in 1967 and the other is married and still lives in Texas. So the other conspirator could still be alive and has managed to avoid detection.
This is where it gets intesting. Does Gayle M. Tippit come forward and ask God to forgive him? I think he also has to ask the American people to forgive him for his part in the murder of the president or he gets the worst Hell just like JD did. God told me that waiting until the 11th hour is too late. God is forgiving, but you can’t wait until your on your death bed to ask to be forgiven.
Now if Gayle M. Tippit wants to save himself from the deep fryer. (This could be a long fry, not a quick dip.) He has to come forward and ask to be forgiven. He still gets death or Hell but it won’t be the worst Hell. Just like the worst death is being crucified.
Gods messenger, Melanie Steffen
I am sure all sensible people who read this will understand where you are coming from.
Hi walter,
It is not where I am coming from. It’s Where Gods coming from. God is coming from places you would never expect. God has to talk about JFK of all people. Now I have read blogs were other people say only God knows who killed JfK. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that God would tell me who killed JFK.
Do you have any idea what that is like having God talk to you? Then he has to talk about the presidents. God isn’t just about Israel he is in America too.
Melanie – how can I reply to you politely? Isn’t anyone around you dropping some hints as to why you are hearing God talk to you? Do you know anyone else who hears voices in their head? Do most people hear voices in their head? Why do you suppose you do?
Wow.
Madam, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but, You do realize that if you do not turn the guy in, you are going to hell for withholding that information from federal authorities right? You want the number for the FBI? I’ve got an agents number right here in my desk. I suggest you call them up, explain to them your methods of in depth investigative effort and your conclusions, then demand full public recognition for the discovery. We understand you are “just the messenger”, but, we should also conclude that because GOD gave this information Exclusively to you, Then, ONLY YOU could figure it out for the rest of us and, therefore, you should get credit for your special skills and abilities. They have witness protection for people like us.
I fully agree. God spoke to me once too. He said “I do not like dependents, or dependence, or deep indents…” (He didn’t spell the word for me) so I am assuming, that it would be true in every sense, no matter weather it was Children on my tax forms, addiction, or my poor writing structure… But, anyway, to make a LONG STORY SHORT, it stuck with me for years while I tried to figure out just exactly what the hell it meant…. I even had to drop out of sight for a while. Then I realized, it was about the JFK shooting… GOD is pretty upset about that. I see that now. Tippits left behind dependents and The President’s taxes wasn’t legal anymore. Jackie later became addicted to Tranquilizers and alcohol and here I am 45 years later writing about it, butchering the English language with my futile attempt to back you up in this while the world laughs at my frustration about spilling my guts all over the internet. (My punishment for thinking I was not the messenger too) SO, again, you are right as rain. The internet was necessary for us to find each other and tell the world that GOD is going to send a crooked cop to the fiery pits of hell for shooting the man that increased federal spending for police forces 30% that year. Whats more, That same cop got a totally cool Communist murdered by Jack Ruby in full public view and caused the whole nation to blame Marilyn Monroe for her reckless indiscretions and that kinky birthday song.
Yep, Lady, if I was you, I would certainly turn in ol Tippits for wrecking America and causing people to think that Uncle Teddy is a Senator that got away with murder or that Brother Bobby had anything to do with Jimmy Hoffa disappearing from the face of the earth. We all know that when GOD speaks, you sure better listen, and when he says “FRITTERS” by god, you can be sure it means he “DOES NOT LIKE DEEP AND DENSE !
Sincerely yours,
Elvis Aron Presley (Ret.)
Why you all picking on my blog? Ha!!
Dont make me do the teddy bear song! Now y’all quit picking on Walter’s blog or I’ll karate chop you a good one then shoot your TV screen out.
Hank ya Hank ya… Hank ya varra mushh
The “King”
PS. Michael Jackson said to tell you guys hello. He cant make the show this weekend tho. Something about a missing glove and some blonde chick with a monkey named Jehova Jireh?
I do NOT like DEEP and DENSE ! (Pass the Fritters please? …Fat boy Elvis over here ate all mine and can somebody please tell this half-dressed flaming albino moron moonwalking all over my Persian rug that the “king of pop” was Joseph Priestley – a REAL white man) ::rollseyes::
Father forgive them for they know not Mountain Dew
- J.C. (Not to be confused with the peanut farmer)
PS. Salted Cashews go great with RC and that F*@%ed-up movie “Deliverance” is going to cost you ALL dearly.
Oh, and Melanie, hon, next time you say “Oh God, what am I going to do about dinner” , remind me to keep my country mouth shut. Fritters would have went nice with that fresh batch of shrooms and bean sprouts.. (You goofy broad, you got poor ol’ Officer Tippits praying three times a day for every slip of the tongue his past 40 years and, quite frankly my dear, its getting old…)
..as for the rest of you, DO NOT walk toward the light. Thats a freakin bug zapper I had installed for keeping moths out of my closet. When your time comes, I’ll be the one with the catcher’s mitt saying “hey batta batta batta” to the punk with the pitchfork.
AND QUIT CALLING ME “HAY ZEUS” !!
- Αλφα and Ω
Jesus reads my blog? OMG OMG OMG
Yes Walter, My Brother, Wherever two or three are gathered in my name, there I am also. (Remember your scripture old friend).
- Jesus
PS. Michael Drosnin is a snitch, Ron Howard is going to hell for “The Divinci Code”, and Obama/Biden rhymes with Osama Bin Laden for a reason… (Next question?) …Oh and lay off the dairy products bro, you are wrecking the plans I have for you in paradise. You only got 69 virgins left.. one just quit. St. Pete is talking to contractors about widening the pearly gates and “NO” you cannot bring your ‘64 GTO. WE HAVE RULES UP HERE. Since the American government now owns the auto industry, banking industry, housing market, and Health care choices, Can we interest you in a Chrysler product? I got you fit for a 1940/1941 Chrysler Newport Phaeton. The previous owner’s name was Walter also (names are important to me). He wont be needing it anymore. The idiot tried to tell me that “because it was made of gold, it wouldn’t get good mileage”, so he’s now our new shovel man in the furnace room.
If you’d like to preview your heavenly set of wheels: http://www.imperialclub.com/Yr/1941/phaetons/
…anyway, peace be with you and God Bless -JC
That is truly a wonderful car.
69 virgins? Guess that’s multi-culturalism for you.
I suspect Melanie was smoking something when she said :
[quote]“God has a message for everyone. It is about the meaning of First is last and Last is First. It was send in the Spring of 2006. The message is this:
In the morning I go to Heaven. In the afternoon I live my life. In the evening I die, death.
What does this mean. To understand this message know that Birth is Last and Last is Birth. Or Birth, Life, Death, and Birth again.”[/quote]
…The Father’s message was lost in the translation obviously. In the beginning was the WORD, and the word was with GOD and the word IS God. …”BIRTH” is last?… duhhhh Only the Son of God is Alpha and Omega.
Tsk Tsk Tsk…
Much thanks to you brother Walter. You are a gracious host indeed. The lord of Hosts shall remember your name to the Father, “…for if you do this to these, the least of my bretheren, you do this also unto me.”
…as for the rest of you, …REPENT and keep watch.
-The End Beginning
‘Son of God is Alpha and Omega’
Well, in those parts of the world which have inherited Greek ideas.
If you are Japanese, and deal with Kanji, Katakana and Hiragana, things are not so simple.
Bushido Brother Walter! …Bushido!
The code of honor! This comes from a faith with no personal strings attached. For one who is emboldened by his honor, facing his own mortality, has embraced a measure of faith far beyond any pagan idolatry practiced “religiously” by any man, Greek, Jew, or Rastafarian.
Japanese’ only saving grace is Bushido. To value above “self” something greater than your own gain. Honor. Honor is a vessel of Love and Devotion to spiritual “will”.
Take the Jews for example: Kaballah is nothing more than ancient mysticism, from whence came the days in which not one man was found worthy. Noah, being saved for the sake of faith alone. The whole world, even the chosen, were condemned in their own idolatry. The fathers wrath was poured out upon the Earth itself, destroying all nations and borders. Before the 4th century AD, the Japanese had no writing system of their own. During the 4th century they imported and adapted the Chinese script, along with many other aspects of Chinese culture, via Korea. An example of the hybrid style is the kojiki (Records of Antiquity) written in 712 AD.
So, Brother Walter, you are “correct”. The complication of so many variations in a given culture’s “language” does complicate translation, but, what remains?
Those core beliefs and values that are NOT religion are what is more precious than proprietary religious practices. Honor. Compassion. Mercy. Discipline. These things are not “religious”. These things are a spiritual language unto themselves. Universal. Essence of the character of one’s heart and destiny. Now “There” is a word for you Brother Walter! DESTINY
Because “Free Will” is the only path to understanding the true nature of the Father. You have a choice and a voice. What will you do with it? Follow or teach a “religious doctrine” which castrates you from the ownership of your own destiny?
Sheeple sheeple sheeple! Please!
Be true to your own heart and have faith that you are acceptable for your fairness in sincerely dealing with GOD. All else is vanity and treachery. “Religion” is vanity.
If you must be “Religious” about anything, be religious with your truth, love, and wisdom. The “FIRST” sin of religion (Any religion) is to teach you that you are not worthy. Doctrine of “religious self improvement” is worthy of your discipline, not your praise. That “praise” is reserved unto the Father alone. Measured by him alone. Christianity will stand in the light of judgment FIRST.
Religion and idolatry is a cage many men have willingly ensnared themselves, like sheep, entangled upon the fence of their enemy, the self proclaimed “shepherd”, gleaning their treasure and their fate for his own self indulgences. There is only “one” Shepherd and he requires nothing more of his sheep than their own truth: That they are “His” sheep and belong to no other. His treasure and HIS glory.
Bless you Brother Walter. To seek truth is a spiritual walk. May your path always be exciting, enlightening, and enduring.
Eternally yours, “a TRUE messenger”
PS. I am NOT standing on a hole punch cloud over Moscow. …but thanks for keeping watch!
As usual, some thought-provoking words from Jesus.
Actually, I hadn’t spotted that hole punch cloud over Moscow. In fact, I hadn’t spotted Moscow in Illinois.